Thursday, November 17, 2011

VICE: 'Really? Newt Gingrich?'

Bad historian, worse novelist, wife-and-idea recycler and generally insufferable fatlord Newt Gingrich took the lead in the race for the Republican presidential nominee this weekend. Finding Newt in the lead in this horrific contest despite all the pragmatic assumptions about his chances and his sincerity is like overhearing someone start to tell a mortifyingly inappropriate joke at a cocktail party and then realizing that there is no punchline — someone actually means this.

Of course, Gingrich's surge comes on the same weekend that Mitt Romney was supposed to hit people with a gangbusters announcement that would reward them for spending 48 hours walking around with iPhones in front of their faces and frantically hitting REFRESH on social media. Naturally there was no announcement. At all. What can it possibly mean?

For more, click on the smilin' Newt and the Manson-eyed mantis below to be taken to Vice:


Also, last Friday, I anticipated that Mitt's big announcement would not be very big or even noticeable. It's a shame that I was right, but it does increase the utility of all the unreleased "major announcements" from Team Romney that I took the liberty of revealing on Twitter to tide us over until the day Romney decides to stop blowing it.

Play us out, Mitt:








3 comments:

  1. as a lapsed mormon, i should point out that only 10 of the tribes are in outerspace.

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Anonymous: Oh, come on, that's clearly a Battlestar Galactica reference.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The creator of the original Battlestar Galactica is a Mormon, like Romney (although less robotic), and there are a lot of corollaries between Mormonism and elements of the series:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_and_mythological_references_in_Battlestar_Galactica

    ReplyDelete

Et tu, Mr. Destructo? is a politics, sports and media blog whose purpose is to tell jokes or be really right about things. All of us have real jobs and don't need the hassle that telling jokes here might occasion, which is why some contributors find it more tasteful to pretend to be dead mass murderers.