You may already have heard of him as the man who's bankrolling the Rick Santorum campaign. At CPAC, he scored one of the best lines of the day by opening with a joke: "A conservative, a liberal and a moderate walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hi, Mitt.'" While that was funny, many Americans felt that his comments last week were not. When discussing birth control, Friess said:
I get such a chuckle when these things come out. Here we have millions of our fellow Americans unemployed, we have jihadist camps being set up in Latin America, which Rick has been warning about, and people seem to be so preoccupied with sex. I think it says something about our culture. We maybe need a massive therapy session so we can concentrate on what the real issues are. And this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it's such inexpensive. Back in my day, they used Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly.Taken out of context like this, his comments are of course offensive. But a full look at what Friess espouses for America quickly dispels much of this foofaraw.
Let's be honest, upsetting women is not politically damaging when they have no business voting in the first place. In a Friessian political milieu, statements like these are a non-starter. Thus, to explain to America the broader plans he and Rick Santorum have for the country, I have gladly accepted a position as a Senior Fellow at the Foster Friess Think Tank for America, which was founded by this Friess supporter. (Another Fellow, Mark Brendle, has contributed to this site.)
Already, we have boldly introduced ideas for this country that may seem new but in reality take us back to a spirituality and sense of initiative that made us great. Please consider...
Back in my days, ethnic food was illegal and you weren't allowed to draw a shape with more than 5 sides.— Foster's Thinktank (@FriessThinktank) February 17, 2012
Back in my day, the military stuck to murdering women and effeminate young men. Nowadays, we enlist them!— Foster's Thinktank (@FriessThinktank) February 19, 2012
Back in my days, there were only 3 ways to wake up in the morning: rooster, water clock or wait for a scarab to roll the sun across the sky.— Foster's Thinktank (@FriessThinktank) February 19, 2012
Back in my days, men were men and women were women and being a man meant telling a woman how to be a woman. Nowadays, everyone's an expert.— Foster's Thinktank (@FriessThinktank) February 19, 2012
Back in my days, a focus group was some fellas working on an orbital death-ray laser. If we wanted to hear opinions, we listened to our guts— Foster's Thinktank (@FriessThinktank) February 19, 2012
...and then please consider joining us at The Friess Think Tank.
There are many more tweets and bold proposals there already. Why? Because we're trying to rebirth a nation.