Monday, February 20, 2012

The Foster Friess Think Tank

Foster Friess made the news last week for the first time since his invention of inexpensive family-friendly hot dog restaurants and tasty iced creams.

You may already have heard of him as the man who's bankrolling the Rick Santorum campaign. At CPAC, he scored one of the best lines of the day by opening with a joke: "A conservative, a liberal and a moderate walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hi, Mitt.'" While that was funny, many Americans felt that his comments last week were not. When discussing birth control, Friess said:
I get such a chuckle when these things come out. Here we have millions of our fellow Americans unemployed, we have jihadist camps being set up in Latin America, which Rick has been warning about, and people seem to be so preoccupied with sex. I think it says something about our culture. We maybe need a massive therapy session so we can concentrate on what the real issues are. And this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it's such inexpensive. Back in my day, they used Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly.
Taken out of context like this, his comments are of course offensive. But a full look at what Friess espouses for America quickly dispels much of this foofaraw.

Let's be honest, upsetting women is not politically damaging when they have no business voting in the first place. In a Friessian political milieu, statements like these are a non-starter. Thus, to explain to America the broader plans he and Rick Santorum have for the country, I have gladly accepted a position as a Senior Fellow at the Foster Friess Think Tank for America, which was founded by this Friess supporter. (Another Fellow, Mark Brendle, has contributed to this site.)

Already, we have boldly introduced ideas for this country that may seem new but in reality take us back to a spirituality and sense of initiative that made us great. Please consider...

...and then please consider joining us at The Friess Think Tank.

There are many more tweets and bold proposals there already. Why? Because we're trying to rebirth a nation.

Thank you.

1 comment:

  1. I can't tell you what a breath of fresh air your writing provides, despite it's essentially depressing conclusions.

    You wonder, "how could seemingly normal Americans actually believe or say these things? What has happened to us?" As you well know, it's really nothing new.

    Submitted, for your consideration, a trenchant takedown of that awful Jewish Jazz music you've heard so much about.

    Written and distributed, not by some FREEPer or Fox-ite, but "edited" by Henry Ford in 1921:


Et tu, Mr. Destructo? is a politics, sports and media blog whose purpose is to tell jokes or be really right about things. All of us have real jobs and don't need the hassle that telling jokes here might occasion, which is why some contributors find it more tasteful to pretend to be dead mass murderers.