Monday, December 5, 2011

Vote for Ron Paul or the Dog Will Be Angry

Well, that's it. I'm voting for Ron Paul because of graphics.

The Ron Paul campaign released a new ad recently, which features the kind of sick computer generated explosions, dogs on things and big truck metaphors that pretty much immediately win me over every time. Plus, the voiceover is performed by a guy who narrates trailers for horror films, so his inclusion here is totally appropriate. NEXT NOVEMBER, THE NIGHTMARE BEGINS WHEN YOU'RE DEAD.


Ahaha, take that, sorry politicians. You are SO hating right now. Your stuff is wack. I bet you can't even gleam the cube. Check out my Body Glove shirt and Ocean Pacific jams.

Catch you on the flipside of the American rution.

Years from now, when my grandchild Lisa asks me, "Grandpa, were you a hero in the Ron Paul wars?" I will say to her, "No, but I voted for him in the company of heroes." Then we will have this conversation:
LISA: But why, Grandpa?
ME: Quiet, Lisa. The dog was barking.
Speaking of which, click the picture below to be taken to a Ron Paul YoutubeDoubler:


For more Ron Paul madness, enjoy the Vice.com rundown or the follow-up with actual scans of racist newsletters! With any luck, this concludes MTV'S RON PAUL WEEK—LIVE FROM CLUB LA VELA IN PANAMA CITY BEACH, FLORIDA.

15 comments:

  1. When I was first linked that video I was amused that some folks with design skills whipped up such a clever parody video, then I realized it was posted on Ron Paul's official Youtube channel. Once again, reality outdoes satire.

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  2. Please please credit the voiceover artist! I was hoping it was that brilliant guy Geico fired!

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  3. I'm easily confused by loud and flashy ads. Ron Paul is going to blow up buildings to kill bureaucrats? Is that actually covered in the Constitution?

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  4. So, the same guys that do F-150 ads are doing the ron paul ads?

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  5. He's the first politician with is own eighteen-wheeler!

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  6. Yes, Ron Paul is the new Ford Tough 2012.

    I'm holding out for the Ron Paul SVT Raptor edition - the badass skid plates will be great when the wheels fall off and his campaign comes to a grinding halt.

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  7. Well, at least the Paul campaign sticks to its principles, Ford is the only major US automaker that didn't take a bailout. No way he would steal advertising copy from socialist GM or Chrysler!

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  8. Shut up and vote for me, you pussies!

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  9. All that's missing are the Blue Angels spewing colored smoke (red, white and blue mind you) from their whiz jets to the strains of "Rock You Like A Hurricane".

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  10. Ron Paul's 2012 campaign is topping his 2008 effort in ads-with-dogs-on-things and CGI boomsplosions but I remain deeply concerned by his inability to close the blimp deficit.

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  11. The truck month comparisons are apt - I keep waiting to hear how Ron Paul has "best in class towing"

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  12. "Want to drain the swamp?" is the worst euphemism I've ever heard for jerking it in my life.

    Also - leading with eliminating the department of Education is.... interesting.

    This has too much of a 'fuck it, we'll do it live' feel.

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  13. idgi The point of the add was that Ron Paul has the best towing in his class right???

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  14. Not only am I voting for RonPaul after that video, I also bought a ford truck and a Rottweiler.

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Et tu, Mr. Destructo? is a politics, sports and media blog whose purpose is to tell jokes or be really right about things. All of us have real jobs and don't need the hassle that telling jokes here might occasion, which is why some contributors find it more tasteful to pretend to be dead mass murderers.