Monday, December 5, 2011

Vote for Ron Paul or the Dog Will Be Angry

Well, that's it. I'm voting for Ron Paul because of graphics.

The Ron Paul campaign released a new ad recently, which features the kind of sick computer generated explosions, dogs on things and big truck metaphors that pretty much immediately win me over every time. Plus, the voiceover is performed by a guy who narrates trailers for horror films, so his inclusion here is totally appropriate. NEXT NOVEMBER, THE NIGHTMARE BEGINS WHEN YOU'RE DEAD.

Ahaha, take that, sorry politicians. You are SO hating right now. Your stuff is wack. I bet you can't even gleam the cube. Check out my Body Glove shirt and Ocean Pacific jams.

Catch you on the flipside of the American rution.

Years from now, when my grandchild Lisa asks me, "Grandpa, were you a hero in the Ron Paul wars?" I will say to her, "No, but I voted for him in the company of heroes." Then we will have this conversation:
LISA: But why, Grandpa?
ME: Quiet, Lisa. The dog was barking.
Speaking of which, click the picture below to be taken to a Ron Paul YoutubeDoubler:

For more Ron Paul madness, enjoy the rundown or the follow-up with actual scans of racist newsletters! With any luck, this concludes MTV'S RON PAUL WEEK—LIVE FROM CLUB LA VELA IN PANAMA CITY BEACH, FLORIDA.