YOU DECIDENow, obviously this poll has substantial problems. The data it gathers is of no use to anybody. Asking the American people whether a bill will pass is a pretty stupid way of predicting a vote's outcome. There are only about 500+ people whose replies are going to be helpful at all, so really it's sort of like polling people today about who's going to win the 2009 World Series.
Health Care on Track for a Vote: Will It Pass?
• Yes -- Obama and Pelosi are doing whatever it takes to make this law.
• No -- In the words of Tip O'Neill: 'All politics is local' -- and us 'locals' are ready to toss the 'yes' voters.
• Not sure -- Either way the system needs reform.
• I don't care -- We no longer have a say in what our 'representatives' do.
• Other (post a comment)
Maybe that's what they mean by the line at the bottom that, "This is not a scientific poll." Science is untrustworthy; poll the controversy.
What's fascinating here is that FOX News evidently isn't interested in its viewers' opinions even when it asks for them. The process of taking this poll doesn't mean selecting one action or another or advocating an outcome: it means selecting something because this must be what you already believe about it. It's quite impressive, actually. They've managed to transform the process of asking someone what they think into one of telling them whatever that might be. You have to admire a level of framing that manages to convert interrogatives to a list of imperative talking points.
The bounty this poll offers is a framework for coming up with your own poll ideas. Don't worry about sloppily throwing one together; it only adds to the authenticity. Try it out!
YOU DECIDEIf that doesn't work for you, why not try this?
Will Gay Marriage Ever Be Legalized?
• Yes -- By indoctrinating children in public schools, gay marriage will gain national approval through the backdoor.
• No -- America was founded as a Christian nation and still is. Gay marriage is not recognized by the Constitution.
• Not sure -- I'm bisexual.
• I don't care -- Most things don't matter to me since I tested HIV-positive from constantly sucking cocks and taking load after load of poz cum in my bitch fuckhole.
• "Other" -- Most homosexuals do not recognize simple shapes or speak English as a first language.
YOU DECIDEThese are not scientific polls.
• Yes -- I hate jobs, children, am made of maggots, and that lawn ain't gonna mow itself.
• No -- America! America! AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Even the taco was founded in the United States, as was all good Mexican food. Tex-Mex was actually exported.
• Not sure -- If they are confined to designated haciendas concentracíon located outside hardware stores and are guarded, they could prove useful when Vern wants to expand his stupid toolshed he never even uses anyhow, I swear that guy's full of shit.
• I don't care -- God created Arrakis to train the faithful. You cannot go against the Word of God.
• Other -- Several passages of the Book of Daniel, when properly interpreted by the Scofeld Reference Bible's crystal cipher, indicate that the convergence of taco stands in Akron, Ohio, and Jews in Jewtopia, will speed the advent of the Rapture.