Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Stop Bogarting My Jesus

What will happen if my secular government stops acknowledging God? What if he no longer gets invoked by public figures?

What if the people around me stop mentioning God?

Will there still be a complete absence of proof he exists, like now?

Will all I have to go on be my faith???


  1. (FYI: my word verification was 'hanes.' BELGIAN ROFLS)

    I live in NC and I hadn't seen that ad. But, my favorite part is, "What did Kay Hagan promise in return?"

    Here's a list:

    --You can kill puppies without fear of the law.
    --All Bibles will be collected to form one giant game of Jenga, (Tower of Babel edition)
    --Intelligent Designer Jeans
    --Since there is no God, no one is left to hate fags.
    --Ring Pops made from fetus blood

  2. • Nativity scene of Jesus to be replaced by scene of pop singer Madonna deepthroating Jesús, the chiseled Argentine stable-boy.

    • Football term "sack" renamed to "teabagging."

    • Frisbee Golf now playable with either a 'bee or a giant host wafer.

    • Old joke amongst teenagers of:
    "Jesus Christ!"

    to be replaced with:

    "Jesus Christ!"
    "Haha, just kidding, he doesn't exist."

    • Theory of Evolution to be challenged in classrooms by "Theory of Devolution" textbook by Mark Mothersbaugh.

    • "We Three Kings" Christmas Carol permanently replaced in all hymnals with "Rubber Cigar" version.

    • One word: babyfucking.

    • Annual April "at the Jews" Ham-Lob canceled until further notice.

  3. --All church sign slogans and scripture must end in "NOT!" or "PSYCH!" (Ex: I am the way, the truth, and the life...NOT!)

    --New Orleans "King Cake" to remove plastic baby Jesus in favor of plastic baby Darwin

    --Hagan will manage a boy band with members Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Two of them will be gay, one will impregnate Miley Cyrus, and the only one cute enough to be in 'Tiger Beat' magazine will have a swastika carved on his cheek.

    --Sinead O'Connor will be the musical guest on Saturday Night Live and spend the entire time tearing up pictures of all the Popes to "Nothing Compares 2 U." The episode will be hosted by an aborted fetus plugging its new buddy comedy.


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