Needless to say, it got discouraging after a while, speaking into the darkness when that special animal shone so brightly on the TV and the international stage. I became frustrated and had a bit of a tantrum. I tweeted these a while back, and someone reminded me of them. (I would have posted these on Tumblr, since that's where brief stuff like this belongs. But for some reason my Tumblr — or maybe all of Tumblr — refuses to render embedded tweets.) Maybe they'll keep someone else from making the same mistakes that I did. But you probably don't care about that, so here they are:
Dear Rafalca, I wrote you but still ain't callin' I left my cell, my pager and my home phone at the bottom.
— Mobutu Sese Seko (@Mobute) August 8, 2012
I sent two letters back in autumn, you musta ate 'em. Or there was a problem with the sugar cubes at the post office or somethin' (anthrax)
— Mobutu Sese Seko (@Mobute) August 8, 2012
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures Rafalca. I like the s*** you did with the Olympic trials too, that s*** was fat
— Mobutu Sese Seko (@Mobute) August 8, 2012
Anyways, I hope you get this, mare, hit me back, Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan this is Mobute
— Mobutu Sese Seko (@Mobute) August 8, 2012
Dear Rafalca, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance I ain't mad, I just think it's f***ed up you don't answer fans
— Mobutu Sese Seko (@Mobute) August 8, 2012
I can relate to what you're saying in your dances so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
— Mobutu Sese Seko (@Mobute) August 8, 2012
Sometimes I even shoe myself to see how much it bleeds it's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
— Mobutu Sese Seko (@Mobute) August 8, 2012
My girlfriend don't know you like I know you Rafalca, no one does she don't know what it was like for transspecies horses like us growin' up
— Mobutu Sese Seko (@Mobute) August 8, 2012
You gotta call me Rafalca, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose sincerely yours, Mobute, P.S. - We should be together too
— Mobutu Sese Seko (@Mobute) August 8, 2012
Dear Mobute I <3 you even if Rafalca doesn't, its so sad she doesn't answer you she stuck up.
ReplyDeleteGirl acting like her shit smells so sweet.
ReplyDeleteThat's so cruel, to pick on a horse! She didn't have any choice in what soulless Mormoon automatons bought her. I bet you'd Tweet jokes where cats come out ahead of dogs to Seamus if you could. If he was still alive, I mean.
ReplyDeleteHey, does anyone do something similar with snark hastags aimed at Rombot clone-sons Tad and Thad and Todd and Toad, or whatever their names are?
Rafalca,
ReplyDelete"I want to be in you, I want to BE you, Make us one person, ONE PERSON ONE PERSON"
- that kid from Equus.
This reminds me that it's not so bad. It's not so bad.
ReplyDelete