Atlas Shrugged: Part I opens in theaters today, a detail which, if you know anything about income tax, summarizes the film's production beautifully. In most years, April 15 is tax day, a release-date coincidence that would drive home the film's toddler-snit cry of government injustice with a bit of calendric irony. This year, tax day is April 18, while April 15 celebrates the emancipation of black people from their economic and biological "superiors," capping off a litany of ironies about the production of Atlas Shrugged that impeach it even on its own terms.
For a film about the truly elite making their own destiny and setting the world aright by turning their backs on lesser peoples, at their discretion, it has: a cast that can in no way be construed as elite; a roster of elite actors who turned it down; two screenwriters and a producer you've rightfully never heard of; a 30-year history of the TV/Hollywood marketplace saying, "You are not desirable and cannot successfully compete," and, as such, a production funded via handouts and charity from ideologues trying desperately to foist their message on others.
The only way this film could sabotage Rand's vision more is if groups tried to counter its decades-long rejection by the marketplace via artificially gaming the market — forming collectives to support the movie and using the movie to help form collectives. Oh, wait....
(If that "oh, wait" didn't come through witheringly enough, please click here.)
That last non-Jame Gumb link appeared in my inbox courtesy of The Atlasphere, and it's got some keen ideas on how to use the movie to band together under the aegis of Ayn Rand and subsume your identity to nationwide collective action. It also has suggestions for pulling mad trim. Because if a movie version of a yam-shaped old Russian woman's brick-sized verbal bean-flick over futuristic Gilded Age-style mass murder of liberals and poor people doesn't moisten a bunch of Galt's Gulches and prop some pants with Rearden metal, well—well, honestly, I can't even finish that thought because I just succumbed to a grand mal of scoffing.
Today isn't just another day when the nanny state robs you of the sweat of your brow. It's also an opportunity to meet singles with similar interests and the traits you desire. What should the future corpses of looters and your future girlfriend have in common? They both need to be stacked. But don't take it from me: click to the Atlasphere and see what Phil Coates has to say about meeting some objectisingles. In honor of the late, beloved Fire Joe Morgan, quotations from his column appear in bold, with extra recommendations in plain text:
This weekend the Atlas Shrugged movie is hitting theaters across the nation, presenting us with a rare opportunity that is very analogous to what the Tea Party crowd experienced. Having started many groups, I have suggestions about how to leverage the movie to meet like-minded people in your area.
Tea Party people are great! Their eyes just light up if you tell them you're a devoted follower of wealthy apartment-dwelling New York Jews.
First, advertise yourself and your values. Get a highly visible type of apparel, perhaps a cap, button, or a t-shirt. Bear in mind, people can’t see a button or t-shirt if others are in the way or if it’s covered up.
Consider plumage that signals to a potential mate, "I am shunting my dollars upward to the producer class." If you can't afford a new shirt at the moment because that last shipping container of Chinese iron (The Metal of the Future™) is still stuck at customs, why not razor a Bush/Cheney sticker off your car and place it over your mouth? The ambiguity makes a multitude of provocative statements — whether you're into kink, feel silenced by their administration, feel that it spoke for you, or just want to say, "I have no mouth, and it must scream: sexy!"
Whatever you choose should indicate at a single glance that you are an Ayn Rand fan, not just one of the multitude curious about a movie with an odd title. Few words. No long-winded quotes. Not obscure or too cutesy.
To assert your belief in the primacy of the individual, try to signal that you are one of a group of people. Also, avoid speeches over 70 pages long. Pick a few dozen paragraphs and make a stand.
Decide in advance whether you are primarily trying to meet someone for personal or romantic reasons, or if you are trying to start a club or discussion or social or activist group.
Remember that a person with real dedication to the investor/producer class will choose the former and eventually create the latter.
If it’s the former — and especially if he or she is wearing similar “advertising” — your job is relatively easy. Walk over with your best big smile: “Have I found another Rand admirer?” Then let nature take its course.
Rape her. Rape the shit out of her.
Unfortunately, here words fail both Phil Coates and me. His dating ideas run short, and I'm the shy retiring type. Please click here for Alan Greenspan's objectivist pick-up artist advice.
Wounded objectivists are invited to comfort themselves with "LolRands."