Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Onion Can Still Bring It, 2/12/09

Despite having mined virtually every possible topic for humor and having wrung out all the easiest jokes already, it's nice to know that The Onion can still periodically bring it and deliver an article that stays consistently funny after the headline and the lede.

Japan Pledges To Halt Production Of Weirdo Porn That Makes People Puke

"We honestly had no idea people did not enjoy this stuff," said Cultural Affairs Minister Kazuhiro Nakai, expressing regret for the thousands of hours of bondage porn, rape porn, utensil-rape porn, food-rape porn, frozen-food-rape porn, vomit-enema porn, elder-care-coma-patient-rape porn, and the kind of a porn in which a nubile youth is kidnapped, stripped, tied down in a wading pool and raped. "We are deeply ashamed for whatever it is about these films that has made people around the world vomit so vigorously. Please know that the content was only intended to entertain and arouse."

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Et tu, Mr. Destructo? is a politics, sports and media blog whose purpose is to tell jokes or be really right about things. All of us have real jobs and don't need the hassle that telling jokes here might occasion, which is why some contributors find it more tasteful to pretend to be dead mass murderers.