Thankfully, a friend and I were on the job and able to bring our combined intellectual heft to bear on the issue by trying to imagine every shitty pun-filled New York Post-style headline about to drop on the front pages of the English-speaking world. How could we do it? Chatlogs. Precious, precious chatlogs.
Robert: dana got a black eye
Me: "Karma, Dana Perino Both a Bitch"
Robert: "Dana Perino Sees World Through Black Eyes for First Time"
Robert: great, now when we take our shoes off at the airport they are gonna probably keep them till we get off the plane
Robert: "Other Shoe Drops"
Robert: "Would-Be Assassin Acts SOLEly"
Me: "Iraqi Reporter Wags Tongue, Shoe at Prez"
Robert: "For once, Bush Without Foot in Mouth"
Me: "Angry Reporter Tied Up in Knots After Outburst"
Robert: "Payless Viral Stunt Goes Horribly Wrong"
Me: "Bush Nearly Well-Heeled by Reporter"
Robert: "America: 'These Guys Wear SHOES?????'"
Me: "Reporter Gets His Foot in Door... of Iraqi Prison"
Robert: "Lame 'Duck' President"
Me: "Shock and Oxford"
Robert: "Journo to Prez: Kiss My AdidASS"
Me: Iraqis Tell Bush to Take a Nike