Sunday, December 14, 2008

Chatlog Post #5: Iraqi Journalist Heaves Shoes at Bush's Head

Earlier today, an Iraqi journalist's freedoms and shoes were both exercised at George W. Bush, at a news conference during his surprise trip to Baghdad. Poetic justice continues to elude the American president, in this case, twice in succession and by mere inches. However, the president's Press Secretary, Dana Perino, was caught in the ensuing fray and received a microphone blow to the head, resulting in a black eye on her face and an ear-to-ear grin on at least fifty percent of Americans'. See video below:

Thankfully, a friend and I were on the job and able to bring our combined intellectual heft to bear on the issue by trying to imagine every shitty pun-filled New York Post-style headline about to drop on the front pages of the English-speaking world. How could we do it? Chatlogs. Precious, precious chatlogs.

Robert: OMG
Robert: dana got a black eye
Me: "Karma, Dana Perino Both a Bitch"
Robert: "Dana Perino Sees World Through Black Eyes for First Time"
Robert: great, now when we take our shoes off at the airport they are gonna probably keep them till we get off the plane
Robert: "Other Shoe Drops"
Robert: "Would-Be Assassin Acts SOLEly"
Me: "Iraqi Reporter Wags Tongue, Shoe at Prez"
Robert: "For once, Bush Without Foot in Mouth"
Me: "Angry Reporter Tied Up in Knots After Outburst"
Robert: "Payless Viral Stunt Goes Horribly Wrong"
Me: "Bush Nearly Well-Heeled by Reporter"
Robert: "America: 'These Guys Wear SHOES?????'"
Me: "Reporter Gets His Foot in Door... of Iraqi Prison"
Robert: "Lame 'Duck' President"
Me: "Shock and Oxford"
Robert: "Journo to Prez: Kiss My AdidASS"
Me: Iraqis Tell Bush to Take a Nike