Friday, May 11, 2012

I Get Letters: 'Bend over and grab your ankles,piss ant'

This site has gone dormant over the last month due to a dead computer and my inability to do much more than write basic text documents with my makeshift alternatives. I do apologize for the lack of updates here, both links to pieces elsewhere and also new writing from General Ze'evi and other contributors who want to do something fun.

That's a ways off. For now, here's some fun hate mail I got about this piece on Gawker about Mitt Romney and Treason. I've attached an artist's conception of the sender, which I found by Google Image Searching "Crazy Motherfucker."

FROM: Jim Devitt
EMAIL: devitt9@aol.com
SUBJECT: Bend over and grab your ankles,piss ant

While Chicago community socialist revolutionary usurps our constitution,rule of law and attempts to take away our individual freedom quisling "Americans" like you are enabling and helping oblameo destroy America.we Americans are fed up with the pimps and pimpetes in the leftist oblameo radical leftist propaganda mill spewing out their ofal.america is waking up to the fifth-column of euro-socialist in our mist. The description of treason fit perfectly with you quisling socialist.we will never submit to to obameo's socialism or romney's progressive-moderate- liberal agenda.GOT THE MESSAGE PISS ANT

36 comments:

  1. One thing I've always noticed is the changing of Obama's name to Obummer, or Oblameo, or Odumba, or some other stupid permutation. Is this a regular thing that republican people do?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's AM hate-radio glossolalia...I'm guessing that Ailes' Fox "personalities," just about all of whom strain at seeming like professional tee-vee people, don't babble over names in this way...

      Delete
    2. Yes. They think it's hilarious.

      Delete
    3. It's a thing that the 20%, hardcore, always-vote-R, mindless, slobbering idiots do. Can you blame them? Democrats voted into power a guy who's basically George W Bush with an actual working brain, who killed Osama bin Laden, who likes their stupid proposals like Cap and Trade, who's actually a self-made-man (inasmuch as any Republican is, and anyone actually can be in this country), who worked through Republican obstructionism on every facet of his Presidency big or small and still managed to do some good for the economy.

      They've basically got nothing on him. I don't even like Obama as a president (I'm one of those socialists who's materializing on a pillar in the mist, or whatever), but from an average idiotic middle-class person's point of view, Obama has basically been awesome. So, they have no recourse but to call him names, lie about his policies, and essentially just make themselves look like fucking assholes.

      Delete
  2. Thanks for cropping that artist's conception, as I am quite sure he must be using the Gadsden Flag to grope himself with his other hand.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hope Piss Ant is in the next Avengers movie. He is my fave!

    I have Morgellons.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Not enough anal/oral sadism in there, if you ask me: Kos for example gets "Aristocrats"-quality fantasias of serial rape, voluminous ejaculation, dismemberment, etc that are to *die* for. All of these hunt-n'-peckin' wingnuts (who struggle so bravely against the disease severing subject-verb agreement) need to up their game!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Only one comment: an AOL account? That is still a thing?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jim must be taking his meds as he never once threatened to bayonet you with his fully automatic Rock River Arms LAR-15 with trijicon night sights.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AOL address! they ALWAYS have an AOL address!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're probably still using those free CDs!

      Delete
  8. @Jeff: No, it's a thing that stupid people do. There's much overlap, of course, but witness things like "Faux News" and "Ann Coultergeist". Stupidity is equal opportunity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would argue "Faux News" is justified, since it's not really a news network so much as it is a propaganda network, run with a very blatant and obvious political bias that's at least partially masked by the other networks.

      Delete
  9. The only acceptable permutation of Obama is "Obunghole." Accept no substitutes.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Is it just me or did he sound like Chris Jericho or some other wrestler trying to use big words to draw heel heat but not knowing too many so he ends up using the same, like, 3 multiple times, diluting whatever effectiveness he thought they would have and making him look like someone a week into a word-a-day calendar?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Obummer, Obambi... I think they're jealous of the left's use of "Shrub" and "Dubya" and want to make a clever nickname out of "Obama" but can't find one that's actually good.

    ReplyDelete
  12. @Jeff, don't forget the gratuitous use of his middle name.

    Also, "we will never submit to to obameo's socialism or romney's progressive-moderate- liberal agenda." Hahaha, of course you will! It's a two-party system.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Needs more pointless permutations:

    Ohnoyoudidn'tbama

    O'ReillywillhangmeinalaBama

    Obortionarama

    Obladi Obladama

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jeff, you're right, the right-wing extremists do very often use mocking insult-names for their sworn enemies.

    Unlike liberals, who would of course never resort to that sort of thing when discussing the many and various apologists for Amerikkka.

    I can't think of a single insult-phrase leftist bloggers used when writing about Bush 43, can you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. His Imperial and Royal Apostolic Majesty Franz Joseph IMay 12, 2012 at 7:56 PM

      No. I can't think of any. That is the answer to the question you asked. I hope this helps.

      Delete
    2. I don't think that anyone who's being honest with themselves would say "the left never makes up mocking names for right-wing politicians", the difference is that liberals do it with at least a little bit of humor and insight.

      Calling W. Bush "Shrub" was funny because, well, a shrub is a diminutive bush, and many things about Bush were diminutive. In that same light, calling him "Dubya" was a way of picking at his faux-southerner regular-joe demeanor, when he is, of course, the very rich son of a very rich northeastern family who've been in politics basically forever.

      The insults that the right comes up with are just ... not funny? Not intelligent? Downright stupid? Yes, all of those things.

      "He's O-BLAME-o because he blames the country's problems on everyone else!" (Like the massive debt, 2 wars, financial crisis, and political polarization that the Bush administration happily, and purposely, orchestrated.)

      "He's O-BUNGLE because he bungles everything!" (Besides the stimulus, the killing of Osama bin Laden, signing New START, passing semi-terrible health reform, ending the war in Iraq ...)

      "He's O-DUMBO because ... ears and ... dumb." (You know he's dumb because he got AFFIRMATIVE ACTIONED into Harvard Law Review.)

      See what I mean? It's like I replied to the first commenter: they have nothing on Obama, and that's not an accident. In fact, it's the very reason that Mitt Romney doesn't stand a chance against Obama: Mitt wants to be an Etch-a-Sketch. President Obama is a fucking iPad.

      I don't even mean that in a negative way, I mean it as it sounds: President Obama is a complex and competent leader. Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Bart decides to be a daredevil? Obama is Lance Murdoch trying to jump a tank full of sharks, electric eels, piranhas, and lions; and it's not just a drop of his blood in their, he dunked his whole ass in the tank beforehand.

      Again, I don't like many of his policies, nor do I agree with large chunks of his worldview, but to try to justify name calling against him is an exercise in futility to anyone with even a passing interest in the facts of the matter.

      TL;DR: if you say "Shrub" instead of Bush, people will chuckle. If you say O-BLAME-o, people will think you're an idiot.

      Delete
    3. I referred to him as chickenGeorge but only because of his cowardly behavior on 9/11

      Delete
    4. chickenGeorge bush wasn't an insult. it was descriptive.

      Delete
    5. @merlallen: And right-wingers only call Obama stupid names because they don't like his behavior.

      Delete
    6. Actually, it's an insult to Chicken George - as I recall, he was pretty damn resourceful. He managed to win his own freedom, bought land and saved his family from the Klan, right? Much cooler dude than that fuckass cracker Bush.

      Delete
  15. I think all of major anti-Obama memes are basically new versions of ones that were prevalent during the Bush years.

    The highly contested election leading to people saying that Bush wasn't actually elected President = Obama is Kenyan and thus is not the legitimate President

    Dubya, Shrub etc. = Nobama, Obango etc.

    Bush's mediocre intelligence and frequent malapropisms = Obama is stupid, propelled ahead by affirmative action

    I'm waiting for republicans to bring back the crazy Clinton era stuff, where Obama is charged with killing dozens of people to further his own ends and so forth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. While I agree that the name-calling and "lol bush is dumb put that in a calender lol" was extremely idiotic, I find it very hard to compare a close Supreme Decision regarding an election with a margin of 327 votes vs.saying that a president was born in another country despite there being absolutely no evidence to support that.

      Delete
    2. The good lord RobertJune 4, 2012 at 12:19 AM

      I don't know. Bush actually, you know, said a lot of stupid stuff. Anyone making the claim that "Bush is prone to saying dumb things" had plenty of evidence. Whether or not that means he actually was stupid is something else, but whatever. The argument that "Obama is stupid" is inverted and relies on the outward evidence of his achievements (Columbia, Harvard Law review, etc) to argue that his gains are ill-got as they assume his stupidity. If you don't already think Obama is dumb there's not any argument to convince you.

      2000 Bush v. Gore also is not quite the same as Kenyan interloper claims, either, but that is left as an exercise to the reader

      Delete
  16. Given Jim's tenuous grasp on standard written (and I suspect) oral English, I'd bet money he's a fully hatched PhD from American Jesus F350 USA Crying Eagle 9/11 University and that he wrote his dissertation on the poetics of Ted Nugent.

    ReplyDelete
  17. You can't blame him for being paranoid about people hiding in our mist. That's creepy. Hanging out in a bunch of mist.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I've been waiting for stories about Obama's lesbian wife killing her male lover. That was my favorite from the Clinton years. No one ever explained why a lesbian would have a male lover.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I have nothing else to say except your piece was hilarious. I am about to reread it, just to laugh again.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Wasn't Vidkun Quisling a fascist collaborator, not a socialist? Just saying...

    ReplyDelete
  21. I think this is just Zack Parsons trolling you...

    ReplyDelete
  22. For what it's worth, this person sends emails at least thrice a week to hundreds of media outlets in Canada and the United States. I work for one of them -- IN CANADA -- and let me tell you I wish we had any idea how to make this person stop emailing us via our "report a news tip" email.

    Here's today's missive, which he sent earlier this week and I guess decided it was great enough to send again:

    "SOCIALISM IS GREAT UNTIL YOU RUN OUT OF OTHER PEOPLES MONEY ! ASK GREECE,SPAIN,FRANCE,THE MONEY LAUNDERING SCHEME IS WHAT SOCIALIST COMMUNITY AGITATOR OBLAMEO WANTS TO DO TO OUR AMERICA.STOP THESE LEFTIST LIBERAL EURO QUISLINGS FROM DESTROYING OUR CONSTITUTION,RULE OF LAW AND FREEDOM AND LIBERTY OF THE "INDIVIDUAL AMERICAN ! BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS A MARXIST CHICAGO RADICAL WHO HATES AMERICA,WHITE AMERICANS AND ALL THOSE WHO OPPOSE HIS SOCIALIST -MARXIST REGIME .OBLAMEO AND HIS EURO-SOCIALIST WANNABES ARE QUISLING,FIFTH-COLUMNIST,REPRESENTING A VIRAL CANCER EATING AWAY AT OUR "INDIVIDUAL AMERICAN FREEDOMS".

    ReplyDelete

Et tu, Mr. Destructo? is a politics, sports and media blog whose purpose is to tell jokes or be really right about things. All of us have real jobs and don't need the hassle that telling jokes here might occasion, which is why some contributors find it more tasteful to pretend to be dead mass murderers.