Thursday, August 11, 2011

Riot Tweetup: 'Mohammed Was a Bacon-Eating Homosexual'

There will always be people who claim that Twitter is useful. They'll mention monetizing your blog, winning free iPhones, crowdsourcing or promoting natural dick growth. They're mistaken. Twitter's most powerful value lies in baiting people — whether it's Hoobastank sending two million people to "goatse" during the Iranian election crisis, or a man named "Fart" goading Smash Mouth's front man, Mr. Mouth, into eating two dozen eggs.

Also, evidently, all it takes is a handful of tweets to turn Britons on Twitter into Oswald Mosely, Nick Griffin of the BNP, or that hooligan bozo Stephen Yaxley-Lennon of the English Defence League. Or, at least that's what happened when a Twitter poster named Solaar used the #LondonRiot hashtag to drop a couple of fake lines about a Sharia revolution straight out of a right-wing fantasist's cheapest nightmare scenario. Here, take a look:

Now, obviously Solaar, who I'm convinced is actually a French-speaking rapper, goosed the process a little with his initial tweets. And obviously the people here are not representative of the majority of Britons, no more than America is represented by the quarter of its population that have turned into a mongoloid volunteer infantry of the teaparty, screeching about how socialized medicine will cut into their Medicare, with which they acquired a free Rascal scooter.

But what is equally obvious is that, at a moment when Turkish and Kurdish business owners are forming impromptu neighborhood defense groups to protect people and property at the same time as thousands of people of all pigments are trying to burn parts of London to the ground, the right kind of plucky jack tars will know who to blame for all this mayhem: it's the fucking Pakkis on the bloody dole.

Well done, everyone. Brilliant.