Friday, March 25, 2011

Twitter Ephemera: Hipster Sitcoms

Ever since receiving critical tweet acclaim on THE Huffington Post, I've been thinking about legacy and impact — the kind of twitcorpus I can leave to my children and yours. (And, if I can get really famous, perhaps the last two will be one and the same.)

In the meatspace, this has meant an investment in more than a few new ascots, as well as those fancy drinking glasses that kind of look like small fishbowls but with stems. You know you've hit the bigtime when you're only lifting soda to your face underhanded.

When it comes to saving things online, though, Twitter does kind of a bad job. It's difficult to navigate friends' feeds to find something more than a few weeks old, especially if you can't remember the wording closely enough to perform a search. Older tweets become unavailable, seemingly arbitrarily, past a certain number or time span. Cached Google searches rarely return anything useful.

Unless you know the exact link to a tweet from a year or two ago, chances are you will never see it again. Twitter claims that all back-content still exists and that a partnership with Google will make all archives searchable, but for such a wildly successful website, it's bizarre that they simply can't show you enormous amounts of the basic text that accounts for their sole purpose for being.

Of course, most Twitter content is pretty terrible and forgettable, and I know that applies to much of mine and my friends' as well. But every now and again, as with National Novel Writing Month Opening Lines, a bunch of people get together and riff on a few jokes that might be worth a second glance and a laugh some time later. The origins of both Shark Hitler — the world's most deadly animal, put inside a shark — and my strange obsession with Stevie Nicks' abuse of monoglot hispanic au pairs are now lost to time. I can't let that happen to such an important sociological document as "Hipster Sitcoms."

Because I am a lazy person, I didn't have the volition to go back and copy any more jokes from other people, but below you can find a list of silly jokes from me (with a few assists from my friend Robert). Also, because he's a funny guy, and because he wrote so damn many of them, I included a bunch from partner in twitcrime, Woodmuffin, who usually outclasses everybody when it comes to finding these trending topics jokes and going off on a spree.

Hipster Sitcoms
PBR: You Getting Served

11:40 PM Jan 28th via TweetDeck

Saved by the Belle and Sebastian

11:41 PM Jan 28th via TweetDeck

The Descendents of Clarissa Explain All

11:43 PM Jan 28th via TweetDeck

Everybody Loves Ray Davies

11:44 PM Jan 28th via TweetDeck

The Stone Roseannes

11:44 PM Jan 28th via TweetDeck

Cloves, American Style

11:44 PM Jan 28th via TweetDeck

Studio 54, Where Are You?

11:46 PM Jan 28th via TweetDeck

Welcome Back, Kottke

11:48 PM Jan 28th via TweetDeck

Golden Girl-Talk

11:49 PM Jan 28th via TweetDeck

3rd Rock from the Sunny Day Real Estate

11:49 PM Jan 28th via TweetDeck

Radiohead of the Class

11:54 PM Jan 28th via TweetDeck


11:55 PM Jan 28th via TweetDeck

Everybody Loves Ramen

11:59 PM Jan 28th via TweetDeck

Loft in Space

11:59 PM Jan 28th via TweetDeck

FourSquare Pegs

12:00 AM Jan 29th via TweetDeck

The Courtship of Eddie's Dealer

12:01 AM Jan 29th via TweetDeck

Doogie Howser, MFA

12:02 AM Jan 29th via TweetDeck

Capitol Twitters

January 29, 2011 12:04:20 AM EST via TweetDeck

Hangin' with Mr. Cooper (Because He's "Authentic")

January 29, 2011 12:06:23 AM EST via TweetDeck

Joanie Likes Chachi's Facebook Status

January 29, 2011 12:07:16 AM EST via TweetDeck

The Merry Thurston Moore Show

January 29, 2011 12:09:53 AM EST via TweetDeck

The Kids into Hall and Oates

January 29, 2011 12:12:04 AM EST via TweetDeck

Andy Kaufman Controls the Universe

January 29, 2011 12:14:30 AM EST via TweetDeck

Withdrawn Together

January 29, 2011 12:18:01 AM EST via TweetDeck

According to Jim Jarmusch

January 29, 2011 12:22:55 AM EST via TweetDeck

Murphy Brownstone

January 29, 2011 12:26:28 AM EST via TweetDeck

Deathcab for Latka Gravas

January 29, 2011 12:28:06 AM EST via TweetDeck

Interpolice Squad!

January 29, 2011 12:32:11 AM EST via TweetDeck

The Walkmen of a Certain Age

January 29, 2011 12:32:36 AM EST via TweetDeck

Wilco and Grace

January 29, 2011 12:33:11 AM EST via TweetDeck

Parker Posey Can't Lose

January 29, 2011 12:36:39 AM EST via TweetDeck

Get a Lifestream

January 29, 2011 12:39:02 AM EST via TweetDeck

Parklife and Recreation

January 29, 2011 12:47:49 AM EST via TweetDeck

Vicar in a 227

January 29, 2011 12:54:43 AM EST via TweetDeck

The Cassingle Guy

January 29, 2011 12:56:44 AM EST via TweetDeck

From Woodmuffin:

Dubstep By Step

January 28, 2011 11:37:49 PM EST via web

BRfect Strangers

January 28, 2011 11:38:16 PM EST via web

Mr. Velvet Undergroundere

January 28, 2011 11:39:15 PM EST via web

Jenny Lewis Can't Lose

January 28, 2011 11:41:18 PM EST via web

Diff'rent Smokes

January 28, 2011 11:42:45 PM EST via web

Alt-y Towers

January 28, 2011 11:46:14 PM EST via web

Rhoda Fixed-Gear The Whole Way Here

January 28, 2011 11:47:10 PM EST via web

The Greatest Bohemian Hero

January 28, 2011 11:48:15 PM EST via web

Chapel Hill Street Blues #okaysoitsnotasitcombigwhoop

January 28, 2011 11:49:47 PM EST via web

Eight Tambourinists Is Enough

January 28, 2011 11:55:21 PM EST via web

Blog House

January 28, 2011 11:56:54 PM EST via web

Andy Warhol Controls The Universe

January 28, 2011 11:58:02 PM EST via web

Scarf 54, Where Are You?

January 28, 2011 11:58:41 PM EST via web

Buried... In Children's Clothes

January 29, 2011 12:01:22 AM EST via web

Father Knows Brecht

January 29, 2011 12:02:55 AM EST via web

Dead Like Me, Jay Reatard

January 29, 2011 12:07:39 AM EST via web

33 1/3 Men

January 29, 2011 12:10:25 AM EST via web

Viviolden Girls, starring PBRthur

January 29, 2011 12:14:05 AM EST via web

The Adventures of Tweet and Tweet

January 29, 2011 12:18:09 AM EST via web

Trish Keenan and Kel

January 29, 2011 12:19:30 AM EST via web

Stereolabsolutely Fabulous

January 29, 2011 12:20:07 AM EST via web

Two and a Half Minutemen

January 29, 2011 12:20:36 AM EST via web

Malkmus In the Middle

January 29, 2011 12:28:22 AM EST via web

Sex and the City Paper

January 29, 2011 12:29:58 AM EST via web

Welcome Back Goddard

January 29, 2011 12:30:30 AM EST via web

Pitchfork and Mindy

January 29, 2011 12:42:21 AM EST via web

Beat's Happening?

January 29, 2011 12:43:19 AM EST via web

Are You Being Gentrified?

January 29, 2011 12:52:36 AM EST via web

Suddenly Sufjan

January 29, 2011 12:53:54 AM EST via web

I Love Loko

January 29, 2011 1:30:53 AM EST via web


  1. I would love to watch Andy Kaufman Controls The Universe.

  2. this is really bad. sorry

  3. rip, jay reatard


Et tu, Mr. Destructo? is a politics, sports and media blog whose purpose is to tell jokes or be really right about things. All of us have real jobs and don't need the hassle that telling jokes here might occasion, which is why some contributors find it more tasteful to pretend to be dead mass murderers.