Sunday, December 25, 2011

Please Read: A Personal Appeal from Mr. Destructo Founder Mobutu Sese Seko

The last few columns posted here have stirred strong emotions. Politics is a touchy subject at even the best of times, which is why we rarely bring it up at dinner parties with strangers or introduce our spouses by saying things like, "This is my first and only wife, Jen. That's the same number of wives Barack Obama has and only one-third of Newt Gingrich's. Also, her face is still capable of movement."

Still, the last two topics discussed here are particularly incendiary. Christopher Hitchens is a beloved figure among the internet atheist community, precisely because he was one of the few atheists who ignored that community's trademark silence — and injunction against rabid group partisanship — and discussed his non-belief whenever he could shoehorn it into the conversation.

Ron Paul and race is likewise a touchy subject, an especially exhausting one for his fans. Too many opportunistic "journalists" have insisted on publishing smears about his racism just because he happens to be a candidate for President of the United States, and they have no compunction in slinging that slur around despite only having a paper trail of evidence. Personally, I don't think he's a racist myself. I take the same attitude toward Ron Paul that I took toward Bill Clinton when he said, "I did not have sex with that woman." If denial from a public figure accused of something negative is no longer good for us, where have we gone as a people? What boundless, featureless extremity can we not be pushed toward?

Still, I recognize I've ruffled some feathers just by doing my job, so in the Christmas spirit, I contacted my videographer, Cody, and asked him to put together two peace offerings. The first about Christopher Hitchens; the second about Libertarianism, Objectivism and the words of both Ayn Rand and Ron Paul. Hopefully these go some way to lightening everyone's spirits.

Lastly, since there's nowhere else to really put this, a lot of people in the comments section have wondered "who the hell are you people?" being the sorts who have been asked (or have chosen) to go after Hitchens and Paul. You could just read our "about page," but even then that's sort of vague. Suffice to say, all of us are black Muslims. All of us live overseas, as either European citizens or alien residents of Europe, except me. I recently moved to the state of Florida for a PR job with the Walt Disney Company.

Thank you, and Merry Christmas, everyone.


  1. It figures that you're a bunch of effete European Moslems. Ayn Rand said it best in The Fountainhead: "You're just mad 'cause there's no clock on your hat."

  2. Just stay offa my lawn and nobody gets hurt, OK?

  3. Hitchens and Paul insults are whatever. But a slight tangent against George Orwell with a link to a poorly thought-out attack by a different site? You better be expecting a riot.

  4. I may only have my own tag on this site (sharing that honor with such intellectual luminaries as joe Morgan) but I'll have you know I am NOT a black Moslem. I am a Moslem first and black second. Assalamu alaikum, and death to Israel. Merry Christmas everyone.

  5. Well Mobute, of all the genocidal, deceased African dictators who write political blogs and work for a mouse, you'll always be my favorite. No matter what anyone says! Merry christmas.

  6. calling all toastersDecember 28, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    The Walt Disney Company? The ones who advocate using magic to freeze yourself so you can wake up in a future where gays are allowed in amusement parks? No wonder you are a feared and reviled late dictator.

  7. Ooh. I didn't know you knew the talent behind allofthetrash! I have an unreasonably intense crush on Cody. :3


Et tu, Mr. Destructo? is a politics, sports and media blog whose purpose is to tell jokes or be really right about things. All of us have real jobs and don't need the hassle that telling jokes here might occasion, which is why some contributors find it more tasteful to pretend to be dead mass murderers.